Food and Wine – Stacy Leasca – Concerned About Getting Eggs? Here’s How You Can Rent a Chicken
Famous people answer the ubiquitous question, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”
TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
SOCRATES: Why do you think the chicken crossed the road?
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
MILES DAVIS: That chicken was a motherfucker.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies you, your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.
CHARLES DICKENS: It was a far, far better road that he crossed than he had ever crossed before…
WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE: But soft, what bird on yonder asphalt trots?
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
DARWIN’S NEPHEW: Which came first, the chicken or the road?
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2020, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. You see, to you, the road represents the barrier between what is and what might be. What is…is you in front of the computer screen, practicing celibacy, peering into your mother’s womb, wishing to be suckled at her breast (in this case, at the teats of internet knowledge and passive acceptance), hating the reflection in the screen that reminds you of your father, thinking how you life can never measure up… What might be, only the chicken knows, now that he has crossed…
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
DAVID COPPERFIELD: I made the chicken disappear and reappear on the other side
Phil Stockmen
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.